People laugh at the movies for many reasons. Laughter could be a way to diffuse discomfort and normalize situations
that are otherwise bizarre or disturbingly private. There are several scenes in Hope Springs that would have produced moments of awkward silence if not for seemingly misplaced sniggers,
chortles and chuckles breaking out. It’s the audience’s way of saying, ‘Yes, I know what they are going through’.
For sure, this is a middle-age themed movie about an
ordinary couple in their sixties, complete with real wrinkles and unhidden flabs. Meryl
Streep and Tommy Lee Jones are endearingly imperfect and believable as a couple
– Kay and Arnold - with an empty nest and even emptier marriage. There isn’t a
sense that they are performing because they seem so comfortable being their age
without vanity or fantasy. As Kay and Arnold, they are married for over 30 years, and are as
straight-laced as can be, ho hum down to the unimaginative bacon with two sunnyside
ups served each morning without fail.
Their marriage has only one dominant voice, and home
life is painfully silent for Kay. Subdued in an unequal relationship, she
cannot love back because of the lack of power and autonomy to do so. Not surprisingly, one who
slavishly meets the needs of a spouse and walks around him or her on eggshells is
unlikely to be spontaneous and fun because of fear and intimidation. Without any change, a co-dependence replaces intimacy and it only
gets worse over the years.
Trapped in a dismal role she hasn’t signed up for, Kay
initiated intensive counselling to save either her marriage or sanity. Her sharp
intuition contrasts with her husband’s blunt ignorance of the state of affairs at
home, and counselling doesn't help when one party is in denial. Yet in most cases, both parties are guilty of breeding marital malaise and ignoring the symptoms for too long.
As expected, the imbalance of power between Kay and Arnold causes
everything else to be lope-sided in their married life. Tell-tale signs include: sleeping apart – different times, different beds, and even different
rooms; one is always the talker, the other the listener with muted response;
the only time they touch each other is when they take pictures together; there are
no conversations about each other’s feelings and thoughts, no mutuality of
enjoyment, no surprises. If a marriage is more perfunctory than passionate, more routine than romantic,
it’s time to get help.
This movie highlights the truth that a couple –
newly married or older married - can be sitting together on a couch but are
oceans apart in their hearts. It’s like watching a case study. You see the subtle nuances that can bedevil a marriage, and how couples use routine to
cover up unspeakable woes to beguile outsiders.
A good movie with engaging performances by Streep,
Jones and Steve Carell as the marriage counsellor. Be prepared for inappropriate
laughter coming from some members of the audience who need the catharsis of laughter
to face scenarios that could be painfully familiar. Just bear with them ...like I certainly
did.